百川不时帮兰珊夹菜添汤,虽然他心底因为发现了妖气而疑虑重重,却在看到少女精神尚可也愿意吃饭后,又的的确确稍感欣慰——天大的事情先放一边,起码她可算是吃得下东西了。在满月池抱住她时,他只觉得她轻得像是一片羽毛,好似随时随地会随风而去,永远地离开他。明明决定不顾一切也要拥有她,也确实付诸行动了,但即便终于把她抱在怀里,他也还是不踏实。那种近乎于来自直觉的不安,持续至今。也许是道德感未泯,或者是负疚感作祟吧,他想。他不是不明白,自己内心的枷锁始终存在,但他还是选择明知故犯,选择清醒地沉沦。百川摁下内心的异样感,又给少女舀了一勺淋过糖醋汁的菠菜,焯水后切碎的绿叶脆生生的,清爽可口,十分开胃。兰珊抬眸冲他一笑,微微鼓着一边的腮帮子边轻轻咀嚼,边小声埋怨他干嘛老盯着她吃饭,同时又给他夹了一只裹了桂花酱的甜糯山药丸。“啊——,吃呀!”她没把食物放进他碗中,而是直接递到了他唇边。她的举动总有些孩子气,此时示意他张嘴吃东西,自己那张樱桃小口也做示范似地张启。粉嫩浅红的舌尖从洁白的贝齿间一闪而过,带着天然而不自知的诱惑。百川忽然很想亲她。但他又忍住了。其实只是亲一下,倒也没什么,但他现在可不敢高看自己的克制力,万一亲了之后忍不住,再做点别的……他的眸色一瞬转深,又立刻恢复成自然含笑的样子,对上她盛满笑意的双眸,配合地张口含山药住丸子,入口化沙的山药与桂花的清甜香气,都及不上她此刻的亲近,因为失而复得,他比珍惜。兰珊满意地点点头,煞有其事地评价:“嗯,我们百川大师兄可真乖。”百川觉得,她从给他夹吃的起就在下套了,就等着这会儿好埋汰他一句。他实在哭笑不得,但又放心了一点。下山经历的那些阴影,似乎从她身上褪去了一些,也许只是当下,她看起来轻松愉快了点,但这样,也已经很好了……百川默默地想。没下山前,他早就注意到她的娇气和挑食,可毕竟两人当时的身份距离摆在那儿,他潜意识里也只是把她定义为“师傅带回来的女子”,虽然未曾察觉到师傅对她的太多不同,更没有想到从来不识情爱甚至不通俗务的师傅竟然心悦于她,但能让师傅带回含元殿,她本身就已经十分不同了。而且,他还亲眼目睹了她差一点就自杀的整个过程。他注意避嫌,便不曾多去关注她的饮食喜好,导致如今给她做吃食只能摸着石头过河,经常拿不准她喜不喜欢吃。当初他只因为看她还是个孩子心性,不爱吃药,经常耍些小聪明想蒙混过关,别说师傅拿她没辙,就算是监督她服药了几回后的他,也颇感奈又好笑,所以随手送过她几罐蜜饯干果。因为这是记忆中妹妹爱吃的零嘴,他特意复刻了童年时家乡那边的口味,是照着专门搜罗到的食谱做的。但其实这样很有地方特色的口味,旁人倒不一定吃得惯的。他也没料到,兰珊竟然赞不绝口。现在回想起来,大约是因为,她虽没了记忆,可味觉却保留了来自儿时喜好的影响。只是那时的他,压根不曾联想到这些。百川微微有些遗憾地想,自己要是早点发现真相,也许两人……不,就算他知道了她是妹妹,可当时两人都落在白蛇手中,他难道就能眼睁睁看她被白蛇所辱吗?而他当时目不可视身不能动,也根本法拒绝她……倒不如,之后才知道真相,虽然也要痛苦也要挣扎,可终究,这一切只需要他一个人来承担。而因为已经种下因,他才能自我开脱一般地让自己放手一搏,选择背弃人伦去拥有她。从山下回来后,兰珊一直胃口欠佳,他又因为心里的秘密而必须让自己放手。他想在日常生活起居的细节中多为她做点什么,可她悄悄扔了安神香,师傅和师弟也一直说她睡不安稳;她还吃得也越来越少,经常一顿饭吃到最后都不曾多动筷子,师傅对她没办法严厉,师弟的性格寡言诚挚,他自己虽有满腹哄她吃饭的话,却根本没那资格去说。如今,他没能打开自己的心结,还亲手把这个结,连血带肉地缠住心脏,打成了个死结,却终于拿到了这个资格。看着她似乎吃了个五分饱,就打算停下筷子不吃了,百川不甚满意。理智上,他知道她消瘦了这么多,不是一顿就能补回来的,可心里还是希望她能多吃点。哪怕今后,他就每顿饭都陪着她,慢慢补,那也先从今天的这一顿开始……他笑着提议,“兰珊,我们来玩个关于吃饭的游戏,好吗?”“嗯?”少女的眸中果然闪过一丝好奇,“怎么玩?”看,她是这样地信任他。而他,必须骗她一辈子。可是只要想到,他们以后的时间,会有一辈子那么长,似乎再浓的苦涩,都化成了糖。————叨叨————敖潭:你们,以后,一辈子?呵呵,统统不存在的。
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