第13章 13.无聊的妖怪会做什么(2 / 2)

鹿妖逐鹿 苍山大虫 0 字 2021-10-05

待回过神来,就是忍俊不住的连串大笑。

“哈哈哈!”

“哈哈哈哈哈!”

妖王填水乙在哈哈大笑,木讷沉闷的黑牛也在咧着嘴乐,郎君在地上打滚,蛤蟆妖从这头跳到那头,老山羊胡子被扯下来几根,小山精急得在身上乱摸。

这是妖怪们每天最欢乐的节目!

“嗷!”

场中煎熬的牛妖终于忍不住,第一个哆嗦着眼泪鼻涕齐流怒吼出来,他这一声吼,顿时拉开场中鬼哭狼嚎的序幕。

“啊!哦!呜嗷!喔!呃!”

“俺的兽娘唉,吃不住啊!”

“要死逑啊!”

声声惨!声声颤!

围观者叫得疯狂,参赌小妖们则个个叫得凄惨。

大滴大滴的汗水从参赌小妖全身冒出、滴淌,又在晨风中化为热气腾腾的烟。

那头羚羊妖,两腿间大股散着骚臭的尿液飚了出来,六头牛妖鼻子上则全挂上了鼻涕,人型脸上什么表情都有。

妖怪身体就是彪悍,陆宝估计若是人类遇到这种情况,还没抹上辣椒就要先被吓尿了,说不定一生都是阴影,还要留下后遗症,这些参赌的小妖虽眼泪鼻涕尿液冷汗齐流,却一直坚持着。

只不过,再强悍也有个限度,第一位受不住败下阵的是个鼠妖,看他结束,围观小妖们哄然大笑开。

“嘘!嘘!嘘!”

却就是输了,鼠妖只得惨淡离场,在围观起哄声、嘘声中,他家妖丁老爷扑上来,老远就是一脚飞踹。

那鼠妖哭泣惨叫着讨饶,然后在妖丁老爷恨恨目光中,一路躬身外八字飞奔,直接跳下旁边河中,去浸泡冲洗自己受伤的部位。

欢乐总是建立在别人痛苦之上的,看到这一幕,填水乙、郎君笑得前仰后倒,其余妖怪也是拍掌、蹦跳、嘘声、跺脚不断。

真不是那鼠妖不中用,紧接着,场中又是几个败阵,大家都差不多到顶了,牛妖、虎妖、羚羊妖陆续含泪离场,火烧屁股一般躬身迈着外八字跳到旁边山涧中去冲洗。

参战的一个个败下阵,围观小妖们嘘声不断,嗷嗷直叫声也不断,这一场野兽派对,场面实在欢乐沸腾之极!

这是何等无聊才会想出来的歪点子?

兴奋爆笑过后,在妖群中仔细想一想,陆宝觉得自己有些懂这样无厘头至极的事情了——从生物的残余习性来看,钻山洞里所见异性妖多半属于妖王和妖将,雄性妖丁以下难以指染,与很多兽类至强王者才有生育权的情况一样,残留着兽体的小妖们发情季难免痛苦,明面上又已不愿意再寻低级的兽类生灵解决问题,闷久难免生事端。不知哪个缺德鬼便支出这般点子来,即娱乐大众,又能帮陷入荷尔蒙之痛的小妖熬过难关,至少参赛之后,遭受重创的小妖必定是要萎靡好一段时间的。

不过看别人是欢乐,发生在自家头上就是悲剧,陆宝胯下一紧,急问身边:“俺伙房小妖也会被派出参赌么?”

老山羊、小山精、蛤蟆妖与周边几个伙房的全瞟向他,小山精笑嘻嘻答道:“伙房归在二将军麾下,二将军来兴致的时候,也会使唤伙房小妖参赌。”

我不要,我拒绝!

俺老鹿难熬的那个秋啊,这下子说不定还要更难熬了!

唯有成就妖丁,才能完全避免下场,成为让别人欢乐的对象?

现在才只是初春时节,到秋季说长不长,说短也不短,还要完成双臂、躯体、后腿三个部分化形才晋升妖丁,十三年才得由兽化妖,满山那么多小妖,妖丁才得多少?陆宝自知完全不可能这么短时间成功,身为小妖要怎么才能避免被选上?

而且,伙房是贪婪狡诈、还随时放臭屁的二将军直辖,万万不可继续呆下去。

小妖呼妖丁为老爷,看这些妖丁对小妖呼来喝去、拳打脚踢都有,确实也如同使唤奴仆一样,今日上场参战的小妖就没几个是自愿的,每逢秋季管事妖丁铁心要自家上场咋整?

陆宝胡思乱想期间,场上的欢乐气氛也逐渐接近尾声,一个又一个的大萝卜变成死蛇软软趴下,然后跨着外八字艰难离开赛场,心急火燎地跳入山涧中冲洗。

最终的冠军出炉,是那位派出三头牛妖拿紫蚕茧做赌资的妖丁获胜,舍得投入才有产出,妖多获胜几率果然大些,坚挺到最后最能日辣的是一头牛妖,那妖丁不但赢回自家紫蚕茧,还得了许多物品,其中包括妖王穿山甲鳞甲一片。

赢家通吃。

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